If you love some thing, should you let it know?

Should ‘I Love You’?
I heard someone saying that ‘I Love You’ is the most over used sentence and that he failed to understand the constant pressure to say it to his wife/partner. Maybe because Valentine’s Day is around the corner, but I have been thinking about these tired and abused three little words. From one extreme that thinks “If you’ve said it, you’ve killed it” to the other extreme who is of the opinion that “You should say it to everyone, everyday, all the time”, I have friends who span the whole broad spectrum in terms of the ‘I Love You’ usage.

If ‘I Love You’, then when?
A nanosecond is one billionth of a second. Times of this magnitude are commonly encountered in the field of telecommunications, pulsed lasers, but more importantly to calculate the right time to say ‘I Love You’ for the first time in a relationship. Having said that, the right nanosecond varies from culture to culture; for example in the Indian culture, one says it right after running into each other in a college corridor after knocking down each other’s books and sundry items, as evidenced by many a desi movie. On the other hand, American movies and sitcoms lead us to believe that the saying of ‘I Love You’ is a momentous occasion which happens midway in a relationship, after saying which the relationship takes a quantum leap into things like moving in, popping the question, marriage and other murky areas. This dear friends, is the life changing quality of saying these words at the right time, it can change your life for the better or worse.

‘I Love You’: Overuse & Side Effects
Once you have said it for the first time, it pays to understand what ‘I Love You’ is not. It is not an excuse, a threat, a stress buster, an ice breaker or a booty call. For all my married friends who think “An ‘I Love You’ a day keeps the divorce lawyers at bay”, please note that God has given every man and woman a predetermined number of effective ‘I Love You’s. Overuse will result in a multitude of disappointing side effects from indifference to downright hostility.

This phenomenon is not limited to married/committed/non-single people. Every once in a while, I come across people who are in danger of ‘I Love You’ overuse, not to one but to many people. Saying these three words is not like firing a round of bullets at a shooting ring, where with every shot you try and get closer to the target. Remember always that we live in a small world, sometimes too small for comfort. With the advent of newer and better communication technologies, the distance between two of your former ‘I Love You’ recipients is getting shorter by the minute.

Advice from the wise
When it comes to saying ‘I Love You’, I always follow the advice my mother gave me about peeing. Don’t be afraid to say it when you feel like it, forcing it when you don’t feel like it will only result in pain. On that note Happy Valentine’s Day folks!!!

The Illusion of Free-Will

It is true that there is no such thing as free-will. Well at least not in this universe, since everything is bound by the conditions of space and time. Apparently to find the real ‘free-will’ concept in action, one needs to go out of this universe. Since we all have or pretend to have jobs, husbands/wives, friends, malls and movies to go to, we can safely say that getting out of the universe to experience ‘free-will’ is not in any of our immediate agendas.

But not having free-will is not entirely a bad thing as it turns out, because of the Buridan’s ass paradox, yes folks…Buridan’s ASS!!! The assumption of this paradox is that an ass (donkey not derriere) placed between a stack of hay and a pail of water will first go towards whichever is closer to it. Now when the ass is kept midway between both, it will die of both hunger and thirst as it cannot make a rational decision of choosing one over the other. (For those who think I’m talking out of my ass (derriere not donkey) Google it, this paradox is a documented theory!).


So in a way it is amazing how lack of choice or the inability to have free-will actually pushes us into the scheme of things and saves us from dreadful inaction. For all my friends who believe in weighing the pros and cons of different choices before making a decision, come on…who are you kidding? Like the ass we all move towards the choice closest to our experience or our comfort zone.

The next time you are making a big decision in your life and you have various choices in front of you, flip a coin, throw a die or ask your wife. The only freedom is, knowing there is no real freedom. That way you do what comes your way and give a flying duck to the responsibility of making the right choice. (And yes I have the freedom to say flying duck and you have the freedom to assume that’s not what I meant to say…in reality I do not have the freedom to influence your assumptions and you do not have the freedom to stop me from saying illogical stuff).

Biggie answered!! (And you're welcome...)

One bad job and many fb applications later, I have just had the epiphany that we are not designed to be happy and content ever. Happy and content is a state of rest and blissful inaction. We are designed to run after something we don’t have for a reason we don’t know. It is a major conspiracy and we are conditioned to be part of it from birth. Break out of it and see life for what it is…really this is nirvana. The way I see it,


It doesn’t matter if you are here for money, success and power or for the betterment of humanity or for the beer, fries and laughs, like me. We are all the same buddy and we are going to the same place. So it doesn’t matter whether you reach before or after me, just so long as you keep the party going until I reach there!!

Rambling…

Some relationships are doomed from the very beginning. Yet or maybe the fact that they are doomed is what makes people get into them. As they say, no one will ever know if it is more painful to get punched in the balls or to get through pregnancy, since no one will ever experience both, I can safely say that this is a woman’s perspective.

Throughout history, a woman’s sexuality has been one of the most feared and revered things. It is something she fears herself, maybe because she is afraid of carrying the testimony of this sexuality on her physical self. Is it because she has the power of creation, that she is burdened with the responsibility of reigning in her sexuality? Metaphorically speaking, a woman’s sexuality is like a raging river, it can create and destroy. Man with his curse of foresight and deliberation, has curbed its path into a social structure called family so that this heady source of energy can create more than destroy, like dams are built to use a river’s potential to the maximum. The beauty of it is lost, but it is the only way to control the chaos and uncertainty that results from leaving it as it is. But just like every power of nature that man thinks he can control, every once in a while dams break and a woman’s sexuality goes out of control wrecking havoc in its way.

Resuming my original train of thought, the reason women get into doomed relationships is probably because of the control thing. Sex is all about giving and taking control. It is a twisted way of taking control, by giving control to somebody. Unfortunately when you make yourself a weapon, the first person you end up hurting is yourself. I guess the answer to safety is neither control nor to be taken control of, provided safety is your motto.

Perfection

(Wrote this for my brother who is undeniably the best brother in the world!!! He turned 21 last monday)

Little pink fingers and pink little toes,
Droopy little eyes that caught fire when you smiled
You awakened my first instinct to protect,
You were the first baby that I ever saw
I was afraid of dividing my share of love with you,
Then you came along and multiplied the love in my life
First time is a trial run,
Second time around it is perfection
You are mom and dad’s little perfection
Happy 21…Wish you all the happiness this world can offer
And then some more from me!!!

The Life That I Have

(Poem by Leo Marks that was used as a poem code in World War II. Recently in the news for being part of Chelsea Clinton's wedding vows. What can I say except... beautiful, beautiful poem!!!)

The life that I have
Is all that I have
And the life that I have
Is yours

The love that I have
Of the life that I have
Is yours and yours and yours

A sleep I shall have
A rest I shall have
Yet death will be but a pause

For the peace of my years
In the long green grass
Will be yours and yours
And yours

Gaga over Gaga!!!

(P.S. The author is an ardent fan of Times of India-esque titles. Punny, no?)

We are, whether you like it or not, in the age of Lady Gaga!! Now what is so great about Gaga? Is she a singer or entertainer, rock or pop, vintage or new-age, straight or gay, man or woman…no one knows. Yet she sells over 10 million albums and 35 million singles worldwide. In an era of overwhelming media explosion, where marketers are vying for every nook and cranny of a customer’s mind space, Gaga holds her own. She provides the high levels of stimulation that audiences require, to sit up and take notice. In short, when musicians and performers are throwing visuals and sound-bytes at you from all directions, she smacks your head into attention with her outrageous costumes and inimitable act. Interestingly, her costumes have a story-line to them and form a medium of expression, making her a truly visual artist in the league of Andy Warhol or Roy Lichtenstein.

Finally, what about her music? She has as much to do with music as Lalit Modi with cricket or Katrina Kaif with acting. For all you hardcore music buffs out there who believe musicians are to be heard and not seen, don’t worry…for every Lady Gaga there is a Susan Boyle.

For the record I love Lady Gaga as much as Susan Boyle!!